I'd almost prefer a hole in the ground...

Well first of all, I'm just going to put it out there: I cried today. It was a silly cry, but now I'm going to tell you how to avoid crying if you ever find yourself in a similar situation:

First of all, when you have to pee at the monument to Victor Emmanuel, feel free to use the restroom inside. Be prepared to pay .50 euro though. Exact change only. When guys step into the tiny girls bathroom to ask the clerk for correct change, do your best to ignore them.

Secondly, insert your .50 cent coin into the slot and absolutely DON'T pick stall number 2. It doesn't lock. Even after trying to lock it for 5 minutes, no luck. Eventually the clerk (who by this time thinks your mentally handicapped) promises you that she'll make sure the door stays mostly closed. The guys are still two feet away.

Do what you need to do, and flush in the European way (I still don't know what the difference is between the large and the small button, so I have no advice for this one).

Upon exiting, wash your hands. Cleanliness is important, of course.

This last part is the MOST important: Whatever you do, don't ever ever EVER ever rip the looped roll of paper towels.

Even though it makes absolutely no intuitive sense as to why no paper towels are dispensed, just go with it. If you rip the paper towels as if they were an American contraption, the clerk gets very very VERY angry. The clerk yelling in Italian and your many utterances of "Mi dispiace!" (I'm sorry) later, and you'll end up leaving the bathroom in tears.

*End scene*

All in all, I think there were just too many new things to figure out in this bathroom experience of mine, and I felt SO bad for messing up the entire roll of paper towels. It's not a mechanism I had ever seen before, and there was no one around to ask (the clerk had mysteriously disappeared).

I felt stupid for crying at the silliest thing and at one of the most beautiful places in Rome, but hey - when the tears well up, there's just not that much you can do. My friends were very consoling and even offered to go verbally insult the clerk in English for me (mostly joking, but still). It was nice of them to support me, and it is through gestures like this that help being in such a new place with all new people feel a bit more like home.

Food:
Today was also filled with not one, but TWO grand food adventures. Unfortunately, I forgot my camera, so I'm going to wait to post about it until a little later (when I can steal my friends' pictures). A preview: Jewish Ghetto Fried Artichokes and a seminar/class on Roman cheeses and wine. Yes, you really should be quite excited!